Friday, April 10, 2015

Master Manifesting

Wanna hear the most incredible story about manifestation?  I am a big believer that we manifest our own reality.  I first heard this concept about nine years ago in the movie “The Secret”.  I was so intrigued by this whole concept, plus it was coming on the heels of the “tragic” break-up of my 11-year relationship with my honey.  If I took this concept to heart, I had to accept that I manifested the break-up.  I struggled to wrap my brain around that, yet I intuitively knew this concept to be a spiritual truth.  So I started reading everything I could get my hands on about the topic.

I also have a really good friend, whom I nicknamed “the master manifester,” who can manifest the exact things she wants unlike anyone I’ve ever seen before.  I have asked her in the past how she does it.  She said she’s very specific about what she wants.  I told her I have been very specific, too, with no results.  She said that she’s also very clear about what she doesn’t want.   I told her I have been very clear, too, with no results.  She then threw up her hands and said, “Well then, I don’t really know what to tell ya.” 

After pondering this for many, many hours, I think the difference between us is that she decides what she wants and sticks with it until she gets it.  I, on the other hand, am more of an opportunist.  I want something specific one day and a week later I want something completely different.  It drives me completely batty sometimes; but I’ve finally accepted that this is just who I am.  And the less time I spend trying to change who I am and instead embrace it, the much happier I am—even if I don’t always manifest exactly what I want.

That said, I want what I want!  I mean, who doesn’t?  Don’t you?  So I keep working on my manifesting skills.  To date, I still haven’t totally figured it out—because if I had, I would have already manifested that long-term boyfriend, among other things.  However, every now and then I get lucky and manifest something pretty quickly.  So here’s how my story goes:  About a six weeks ago I thought I had found my next potential long-term mate, but it didn’t work out.  This one hit me kind of hard because I had been doing so much “work” on myself to be ready for an intimate, expansive relationship (plus I REALLY liked him) and yet I got the same result as before.  There was also a pesky Pluto / Uranus square happening, so I know this was all part of a greater lesson for me; but I digress…

Unfortunately, I felt myself slipping into a depression and I NEVER, EVER want to go there again!  So, I started whipping out all my tools I’ve learned over the past decade to love myself more, to see the bigger picture, to be grateful for everything just as it is, to trust in God/Spririt/Universe, etc.  During this process, one very wise epiphany I had was that living alone—where I spend far too much time with my tempestuous ego—is not healthy for me.  Therefore, I decided that I wanted to take on a roommate—to bring more energy into my house.  I also decided that I wanted it to be someone who worked at the nearby gym I go to because I wanted my new companion to value a healthy lifestyle like I do.  That was on a Friday.  I talked to the gym owner about it on Monday and by Wednesday I had a gym employee call me within one hour of posting a flyer, saying he was looking for a place to live.  We shook on an agreement and he gave me a deposit that afternoon.  So, in less than a week, I manifested exactly what I wanted.  VIVA!!!  Now, if I could only manifest a long-term relationship that quickly! 

As a postscript, what I now know in hindsight is that my Soul did have me manifest that painful break-up 9 years ago because it was time for me to wake up spiritually.  It was literally the catalyst to my spiritual awakening.  My spiritual journey over the past 9 years has been an amazing blessing.  I sometimes say that I was sleep-walking through life up until that point.  I am living a much more conscious life and I have experienced joy unlike ever before.  It took a while for me to see this; but it was the most profound turning point in my life—in a very good way.  If you look for it, there is always a silver lining.  DOUBLE VIVA!

So, what experiences have you had manifesting things quickly?  What are your tips?  I'd love to hear from you!

Thursday, April 2, 2015

The Spiritual Journey Ain’t for Sissies

Can I just say that the spiritual journey is not for sissies?  Nor is menopause, but that’s a topic for a different blog!  As I understand it, the spiritual journey is about finding our way back to ourselves.  As humans, we go through this cycle of being authentic (as babies), to learning to please others (as children), to learning to serve others (as adults), to unlearning everything we've learned so that we can be authentic again. 

The Spiritual community calls this sense of personal identity that we learn “the ego”.  Personally, I’m not sure why the ego is a necessary part of our human experience.  I mean if God/Spirit/Universe wants us to experience joy as the main reason for our existence, why the heck did ego ever come into play?  I am open to opinions, so please chime in! 

Ergo, my latest travail on this journey back to authenticity:  I really want a long-term intimate relationship, so I decided to try online dating again.  Only this time, I have a better attitude about it and consequently I am having a lot more fun with it.  VIVA!  I also know that in the last ten years my attempts at finding a long-term relationship have been mostly unsuccessful.  Naturally, I conclude that I must be doing something wrong in dating, since I am not getting the results I want.  Wasn't it Albert Einstein who defined insanity as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?” 

Therefore, I decided to read up on some dating advice (mostly from men) to learn how to go about dating differently.  As you no doubt know, we all possess masculine and feminine energy.  The trick is knowing when to turn on our masculine energy and when to turn on our feminine energy.  (This goes for you guys, too!)  I think I tend to express masculine energy more often than feminine energy – could be because I’m a Capricorn, could be because I was raised with brothers, could be because I spent 20+ years in the corporate world – who knows? 
Accordingly, I start presenting more feminine energy (being receptive, passive, accepting) with my recent dates.  While I think it worked for me initially, I still find myself with no long-term relationship, physically and emotionally exhausted, and teetering on depression.  Why you ask?  

Because I was not being authentic.  I was not being true to myself.  You see, being an assertive, sassy, sharp-witted woman on the outside (and a soft, loving, girly-girl on the inside) is just who I am.  And I THRIVE when I am being who I am.  Besides, don’t we all want a partner who wants the authentic us? 

So, I’m back!  No more exhaustion, no more depression.  Lesson learned (albeit the hard way, which seems to be my preferred way J).  You see – you can only SCREAM VIVA! when you are being your authentic self.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

6 Things Women Screaming Viva Never Do

One of my favorite blogs is Marc and Angel Hack Life.  This particular post sounded like advice I could have used when I was first going through my break-up.  This advice will help you Scream Viva!

Happy people do a lot of things.  They spend time expressing gratitude, cultivating optimism, practicing kindness, nurturing loving relationships, committing to meaningful goals, savoring life’s little pleasures, and so on and so forth.
But they NEVER…

1.  Mind other people’s business.

Forget about what others are doing.  Stop looking at where they are and what they have.  Nobody is doing better than you because nobody can do better than you.  YOU are walking your own path.  Sometimes the reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes circumstances with everyone else’s public highlight reel.  We listen to the noise of the world, instead of ourselves.  So stop the comparisons!  Ignore the distractions.  Listen to your own inner voice.  Mind your own business.
Keep your best wishes and your biggest goals close to your heart and dedicate time to them every day.  Don’t be scared to walk alone, and don’t be scared to enjoy it.  Don’t let anyone’s ignorance, drama, or negativity stop you from being the best you can be.  Keep doing what you know in your heart is right, for YOU.  Because when you are focused on meaningful work and at peace within yourself, almost nothing can shake you.  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Passion and Growth” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

2.  Seek validation of self-worth from others.

When you are content to simply be yourself, without comparing and competing to impress others, everyone worthwhile will respect you.  And even more importantly, you will respect yourself.
How are you letting others define you?  What would you do differently if youknew nobody would judge you?
Truth be told, no one has the right to judge you.  People may have heard your stories, and they may think they know you, but they can’t feel what you are going through; they aren’t living YOUR life.  So forget what they think and say about you.  Focus on how you feel about yourself, and keep walking the path that feels best under your feet.
Those who accept you are your friends.  Those who don’t are your teachers.  If someone calls you something and it’s true, it’s not your problem because it’s true.  If someone calls you something and it’s not true, it’s not your problem because it’s not true.  Either way, whatever they call you is not your problem.  What other people call you is their problem…
What you call yourself, and who you decide to become, is your problem.

3.  Rely on other people and external events for happiness.

Unhappiness lies in that gap between what we have now and what we think we need.  But the truth is, we don’t need to acquire anything more to be content with what we already have.  We don’t need anyone else’s permission to be happy.  Your life is magnificent not because someone says it is, or because you have acquired something new, but because you choose to see it as such.  Don’t let your happiness be held hostage.  It is always yours to choose, to live and experience.
As soon as you stop making everyone and everything else responsible for your happiness, the happier you’ll be.  If you’re unhappy now, it’s not someone else’s fault.  Take full responsibility for your own unhappiness, and you will instantly gain the ability to be happier.  Stop seeking in vain to arrange conditions that will make you happy.  Simply choose to appreciate the greatness that is yours in this moment, and the right conditions will start to line up around the contentment you seek.
The greater part of your happiness or unhappiness depends upon your outlook, and not upon our situation.  Even if things aren’t perfect right now, think of all the beauty still left around you.  A good reason to smile is always one thought away; choose to tap into it any time you like.  (Read The Gifts of Imperfection.)

4.  Hold on to resentment.

Let today be the day you stop being haunted by the ghosts from your past.  What happened in the past is just one chapter in your story; don’t close the book, just turn the page.
We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others, and while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long.  Feelings of resentment urge us to relive the same pain over and over, and we have a hard time letting go.
Forgiveness is the remedy.  It allows you to focus on the future without combating the past.  To understand the infinite potential of everything going forward is to forgive everything already behind you.  Without forgiveness, wounds can never be healed and personal growth can never be achieved.  It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened.  It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.

5.  Spend prolonged periods of time in negative environments.

You can’t make positive choices for the rest of your life without an environment that makes those choices easy, natural, and enjoyable.  So protect your spirit and potential from contamination by limiting your time with negative people and the environments they inhabit.
When other people invite you to act like victims, when they whine and moan about the unfairness of life, for example, and ask you to agree, to offer condolences, and to participate in their grievances, WALK AWAY.  When you join in that game of negativity you always lose.
Even when you’re alone, create a positive mental space for yourself.  Make it a point to give up all the thoughts that make you feel bad, or even just a few of them that have been troubling you, and see how doing that changes your life.  You don’t need negative thoughts.  They are all lies.  They solve nothing.  All they have ever given you is a false self that suffers for no reason.  (ReadBuddha’s Brain.)

6.  Resist the truth.

It is a certain deathtrap when we spend our lives learning how to lie, because eventually these lies grow so strong in our minds that we become bad at seeing, telling and living our own truth.  Lives come apart so easily when they have been held together with lies.  If you resist the truth, you will live a lie every day as the truth haunts your thoughts every night.  You simply can’t get away from your truth by moving dishonestly from one place to the next.
So don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to hide the truth with deception; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion of what’s popular.  It is better to offer no explanation or excuse than a false one.  It takes courage and strength to admit the truth, but it is the only way to truly live.  Accept what is, embrace it fully, and live for the possibilities that lie ahead.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Have you Screamed VIVA lately?

Hey y'all.  (Yes my Texas roots just came out.)  I've had some cool stuff happen in my life lately and it makes me want to scream VIVA!!  I've had an unexpected job and partnership opportunity come my way.  My back injury is finally getting better.  My book "Why You No Scream Viva" maybe, just maybe might be featured in People magazine.  (Cross your fingers!!)  I had a small windfall of money that I wasn't expecting.  I taught my dog how to do some agility challenges at the dog park - and she's 10 years old.  VIVA!!

Now, mind you, I've had my share of not-so-cool stuff happen in my life lately, too (including a month-long bout with hives caused by stress of various origins).  Jeesh!  But I do not want to dwell on those things.  Instead, I am CHOOSING to focus on and be grateful for the good things going on.  Sometimes that's a lot easier said than done - believe me - I know.  I say, just keep at it and suddenly things will shift for you.  The one thing I know for sure is if you CHOOSE to dwell on the negative, you are sure to get more of the negative.  YUK!  So, for goodness sake, stop dwelling on the negative!

So tell me what you've been screaming VIVA about in your life lately.  I challenge you to come up with 10 things right now!!

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Welcome to my new blog!

Hi everyone!  I am so excited to start meaningful conversations with men and women about ways you "scream viva" in your life.  If you've read my book, "Why You No Scream Viva?!: My Big Mexican Adventure that taught me how to Live, Love, and Laugh Again" or visited my website, you know that for me "screaming viva" means finding the courage to look for love again, making big decisions even though you may not know the outcome, and relying on good friends to help you through the inevitable transitions life throws at you.

How have you screamed viva in your life lately?